I Wish I’d Thought of That!!!

I ran across this on the internet & it was just too good not to share…

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant to NYU in response to this question:

IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:

ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week: when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

(The author was accepted to NYU.)

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We should all be lucky enough to have such confidence, imagination, courage, & humor. 

Come to think of it, that may just be the recipe for life!

Me…I’m off to find another laugh for today!!!

Make a joyful noise !!!

About Diane

a long time lover of all things aquatic...swimming, sailing, kayaking, snorkeling...if it involves water...I'm in. Add traveling, snowshoeing in the winter, gardening in the spring, & lots of fresh air & sunshine. Blend with cooking, crafting, great friends & my Border Collie Zack. Toss in some sweet beekeeping. Mix in a couple of great books, my camera, clean notebook paper, & a cool pen & you pretty much have a picture of me. My friends tell me I should also add..."once a teacher...always a teacher".
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3 Responses to I Wish I’d Thought of That!!!

  1. pennyc310 says:

    new to your site. Remember coming to Torch Lake many years ago as a young girl with my dad. Ran across some old photos which reminded me of a happier time in my life so I searched the web for Torch Lake and found you. Thanks for sharing

  2. Maureen says:

    Now, that is clever! How nice to read something from an original mind.

  3. Meredith Grider says:

    Wouldn’t we all like to be this inventive. Love it.

    >

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